Bad Liar

Fern came out of the bathroom this morning, tugging up her leggings. As usual, I hadn’t heard a flush, but I had more pressing concerns:

“Did you wipe?” When Fern’s in a hurry, she forgets the niceties.

“Yes!” she said.

“So if I look in the toilet, I’ll see some toilet paper?” Sometimes that forgetting-to-flush thing comes in handy.

“Yes!” she said.

We went back into the bathroom, and sure enough, no toilet paper in the bowl.

Until, that is, Fern pulled a few sheets off the roll and tossed them into the yellowy water.

“There, I wiped!” she said, beaming with pride at her clever deception.

“You know I’m standing right here, right?” I asked.

“Yes!” she said, now even more proudly than before.

I wonder how low I’d sink on the parenting-skills list if I explained to her how lying is supposed to work…