“When you don’t share a fairy dies”: More Things I Never Thought I’d Say

“When you don’t share a fairy dies.”

“Those aren’t shoes, they’re hole punchers.”

“No tongue on the iPhone.”

“No putting Cheerios in your underwear.”

“You have to ask permission before you kick my belly.”

“Did I just whack your face into that chain?”

“No licking the wall.”

“You can share the pee bag.”

“Licking the wine cork is okay, but no biting it.”

“Only make the ‘whatever’ sign when you’re doing it ironically, OK?”