Sunday confessional XXVIII

What they say: “Gee, Doodaddy, I never see you eat lunch when Boobaby does.”

What I say: “Oh, I just wait until nap time and eat then.”

What really happens: At nap time, I curl up in a corner and eat an entire bag of Pepperidge Farm Soft Baked Oatmeal Raisin cookies.