Eight Things My Toddler Made Me Say

These are all true.

  1. “Your ponytail is stuck in your pants.”
    • “We don’t kiss our poop. Blow it a kiss, if you must.”
      • “Are there cranberries in your diaper?”
        • “Toothbrushes and kitty litter don’t mix.”
          • “Watch out for the butt cream on the floor.”

            • “That’s ‘like a diamond in the sky’, dear, not ‘like a demon’.”
            • “Don’t kiss the batteries, honey.”
            • “Mallets are not for hitting cats.”

Have a great weekend, everyone. We’ve got family in town for a few more days yet — see you on the other side!