Baby Naming Rights

So it looks like we’re having another baby, eh? The only thing left to do (apart from emptying that room we’ve come to think of as our storage unit, piecing together our layette, and knocking over a couple of liquor stores to be able to afford another kid without my working) is to pick names.


I was going to pick the one where they go undercover as cheerleaders to break up a ring of, I dunno, football thieves or something. But my wife might be watching.

This came to mind today when we met a pair of sisters at the park named Jaclyn and Kate, which I honestly think is the coolest name choice ever. (The challenge will come if they obtain another sister somehow — do you name her “Farrah,” the original, or “Cheryl,” the one everyone remembers?) 

We originally had a theme going, too. Boobaby’s real name is “Fern” as you probably know by now, named for the character in Charlotte’s Web who saves the pig by being muddy and stubborn.

So “Avery” came to mind for a boy, since that’s Fern’s brother in the book. He’s a complete thug, though — the first time you see him he’s holding a knife and a gun, and he mostly tries to ruin everything all book long. “Milo” was also in the running, after the only nihilist protagonist in all of children’s literature (anyone care to guess the book?). But then that name started appearing all over, and I don’t even know how to pluralize it (Milos? Miloes? Myleaux?).

So here’s my call for suggestions: we’re looking for cool names, ideally those attached to strong-willed, non-philosophically challenged, slightly quirky heroes and heroines from kids’ stories. No evil, please: “Darth” need not apply. Maybe old-fashioned would be cool, too.

Any ideas?

Oh, and if y’all from Pepsico (or Nikon) are looking to buy some child naming rights, now’s the time to start the bidding on that, too. Our little “Tropicana Fritolay” (or “Diselar Autofoca”) is due in November!