Toddlers Cussing: Gonna Get an Adult Rating For This One, For Sure

Mike and Emme took us to a kids’ museum a few days ago. Boobaby, misidentifying a crab model (yeah, and she’s a naturalist’s kid!) shouted out,

“Fuck! Fuck!”

Um, what? The look on Mike’s face was priceless — a mixture of “Man, did you she really say that?” and “What the hell, did you teach her that?” (I get that look a lot, actually. I think many parents are somewhere between impressed with and appalled at my parenting strategies.)

But you see (I quickly explained) through the magic of Boobabish letter substitution “G” can become “K” and “R” fades away: Boo was really saying “frog.”

Of course, “B” becomes “P,” too, so if she’d been right about our little crustacean friend she would have been screaming

“Crap! Crap!”

At least she’s not loudly addressing her own private parts in public anymore. Now it’s just fucks, craps, and, of course, still poopy. Last night out at the Japanese restaurant:

“Big poopy in my diaper!”

Sigh. No confusing what that means.