The Things I Know About Elmo

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Browsing the games and videos on the Sesame Workshop site, you get a deep (and sometimes disturbing) sense of the lovable red monster we all know. Or do we?

Elmo’s got a scary sense of humor

Elmo Becoming Oscar

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    Do you want to see something <em>really </em>scary? Elmo, pretending he&#8217;s Oscar, moonwalking.
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There’s an online Tickle Elmo game: You click on Elmo to tickle him and he throws confetti, dances, does cartwheels, and generally acts like the fun-loving goofy guy we know him to be.

Except every once in a GREAT while he says “Watch this!”, then turns around, and when he turns back, his face looks like Oscar the Grouch. It’s soooo freaky… it’s like The Twilight Zone: “You want to see something really scary?” Eeeeegh.

Elmo’s dad stayed at home when Elmo was a baby…

Elmos dad at the playground

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    Elmo&#8217;s dad at the playground with Mrs. Big Bird, Mrs. Cookie Monster, and Mrs. Zoe. This is <em>soooo </em>my life. Yes, folks, Elmo&#8217;s dad is or was a stay-at-home dad.
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This really pissed off Working Mom on her last birthday when she was feeling left out of the whole parenting gig. (It’s from the “Sesame Beginnings” videos.)

…and was later deployed to Iraq

Elmos dad going to war

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    Sgt. Elmo&#8217;s-Dad explains to his son that he&#8217;s going to war. I&#8217;m pretty sure the soul patch isn&#8217;t regulation.
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I still get weepy just thinking about this video, intended for military families to help deal with the deployment of one or both parents. If I weren’t anti-Bush before (surprised, anyone?), this video would have cinched it for me — that a president can blithely send loving, patriotic parents (and muppets) to fight a war planned and executed by idiotic civilian power-mongers is the height of arrogance. (It’s from a set of free Sesame Workshop videos you can get on iTunes or the Sesame web site. They’ll even send you a DVD.)

Finally, and perhaps most disturbingly,

Elmo is a Minnesota Vikings fan

Viking Elmo

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    From &#8220;<a href="http://www.sesameworkshop.org/sesamestreet/games/flash.php?contentId=9495524" target="_blank">Keyboard-o-Rama</a>&#8221; &#8212; just press &#8220;H&#8221; for &#8220;Helmet.&#8221;
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Who would let a little kid watch such a brutal sport? And if so, who would let him support Minnesota? (I am so grateful that my in-laws don’t read this blog — I’d be in such trouble.)

All these revelations make me wonder — what else is Elmo hiding?