Thong of the Loom

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    This is sexy? Eeeeeeew.
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I saw London, I saw France, I saw a nanny’s underpants.

And you know what?

Thongs are disgusting.

There, I’ve said it. So I’m old.

I am forced to see thong and crack constantly, of course: one of the downsides to this stay-at-home daddy gig in the era of low-rider pants.

Yep, I do mean forced to see: this job is all about sitting cross-legged in circles (eeeew!), stretching up to the monkey bars (blech!), crouching to play ball (make it stop!).

So I jerk my head away frequently. I’ve been hospitalized twice with G-string Related Whiplash.

This particular nanny, though… her exposed undergarment defies naming.

Erupting generously from her jeans was a practical, white cotton, unadorned, down-to-earth… THONG. A nun’s G-string.

  • Thong of the Loom?
    • Her Thong by Hanes?
      • Thongy Whities?

Blech.

By the way, if there are any mommies out there laboring under the delusion that all straight men perk up at a flash of floss or, even worse, the dreaded gluteal clevage: we don’t. At least not once we turn 14 or so. Or if we’re a little tipsy. Or if we get elected to office.

Otherwise, it’s just gross.