What’s it like to be a SAHD?
I got an e-mail the other day that asked exactly that:
“My wife and are are twenty weeks pregnant, and she thinks I should stay home when the baby is born. I’ve found a ton of stay-at-home dad sites, but no one jsut answers, What’s it like to be a stay-at-home dad? I like kids, but I never ever thought I would be the Mr. Mom or anythig. What do you think?”
Well, you know, he’s right: that’s a really hard question to answer with just an adjective or two — it’s kinda what this whole blog is about, and a whole lot of others, too. And there’s overlap, too: I have a lot of experiences common to at-home moms and working dads, just as the particulars of my at-home-dadness might be completely unlike another at-home-dad.
Still, though, I want to answer the question, although I’m not sure I can. But I’m going to try — once a week or so. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
- Lonely. On having a social life as a SAHD.
- Creative. Every day is different — and that’s not always so great.
- Scrutinized. Everyone’s got an opinion, all the more so when you’re a SAHD.
- Taken for Granted. In which I’m forgotten when dessert comes around.
- Liberating. I can be goofy — really goofy — and get away with it now!
- Replaceable. What’s with this idea that just about anyone could do our jobs as well as we can?
- Popular. Yeah, as rarities, dads have an automatic leg-up on playground popularity. And we love it.
- Unrelenting. Duh.
More to come, as they strike me!
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What’s it like to be a dad? I don’t have children.
Stay at home Dad’s are undervalued!! LOL…Seriously, it can be just as great for a father to switch the traditional roles of the mother when it comes to things like that.
Being a stay at home dad is something that I will never regret! I love my daughter and would hate to miss the quality time that we have already shared.
I think this is a great answer! Though I am a mommy. I’m a SAHM and I agree with EVERYTHING even though I”m a woman. It is a very lonely job, but I would never give up that time and hand it to someone else such as a day care or a babysitter. Watching every milestone, cut, or fall is the memories you will have when they up and move out. I”m glad I can enjoy these memories with my children and I”m sure you do as well. I do agree you get a bad rep, bc it isn’t TRADITIONAL, but REALLY!? What is any more? It takes a brave man to subject himself to the scrutiny, but I think more dads would love it if they had career women that want to get out and work. It’s not an easy job to stay at home with your children. More power to the ones that do it all their life. It is a life changing thing!
Great Post! You hit the nail on the head about how society views Sahd’s at the moment
Yours is a noble undertaking. But, let’s just admit that you’re not ideally suited for it. That’s because evolution has provided women with parenting abilities that no mortal man will ever know. I’m not talking about the obvious ones, like oozing breasts. I’m talking about, for instance, the ability mothers have to suddenly remember childhood songs from their deep pasts, maybe even from previous lives, and receive pleasant smiles when they sing them. Fathers try to sing the Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” and receive blank expressions in return.
And this is where I take umbrage or wink to show I’m in on the joke. I guess I’ll go with wink.
Hee, hee, I’m such an incompetent parent! Dude, you don’t even know! My kids take baths in big buckets in the yard!
Some of the best parenting advice I’ve gotten has come from other SAHD’s who have been deeply changed by the experience of caring for their kids. Of late, I’ve begun to write about it, too. We all seem to be. There’s an upsurge in content about it all over the place… But the gist of it seems to be how very liberating it can be for men (while also being exhausting, degrading, mind blowing….etc. LOL)
As a fellow SAHD (3 boys under 10) i totally agree with the list , it’s unrelenting , if i could complain about anything it would be the occasional mistaken belief that i live in luxury at home whilst my wife toils at work, this attitude comes from both sexes equally and even more oddly, from SAHMs .
But on the whole it’s great fun,anyway i’ve got to go break up a fight over lego(by the sounds of it ) and get the evening meal ready…unrelenting