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Poop and the San Francisco Unified School District

by doodaddy on August 3, 2011

It’s astonishing how quickly I’ve come to define parenting in terms of things I’ve missed.

Like: my kids have never pooped in the bathtub. Now isn’t that an adventure squandered?

Claudia isn’t three yet, so maybe I’m counting my poop-free chickens a trifle prematurely. But she’s an open book when it comes to bodily functions, and besides, if she were too many hours away from her last poop I wouldn’t let her into the tub in the first place.

So I think I’m safe: our bathtub has escaped being dookified.

As rites of passage go, I can live without crap in the bathtub. But we’re missing something else that does register as a loss: Claudia’s older sister Fern will not be having a first day of kindergarten.

Here in San Francisco, you only get to go to your neighborhood school if you win a lottery. (If you’re not from here, this is a long story, but it begins with Howard Jarvis burning in a special corner of hell all his own.)

We played the lottery three times and lost — we have two more chances this fall but only after school starts. So that wonderful sad pride every parent feels dropping off their kid on the first day of kindergarten with all the other wide-eyed 5-year olds, taking that first step together into a larger and more wonderful world: yep, not us.

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in sadness,school ·

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Jared September 6, 2011 at 4:37 pm

My boy Ace is not old enough for Kindergarten yet…but I do not think we have a lottery…so I probably will not have to worry about that, but the poop in the tub thing…it happened. Not cool! :D I was like “WTH is that?”…followed by snatching him out of the tub, draining the water, scooping up the poop, cleaning the tub, running new water, and washing him all over again. My 6 month old hasn’t tainted the bath water yet, but has had a bath because she had gotten into her diaper and smeared it all over herself. Does that count?

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David October 2, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Of our kids one of the twins (age 4) is the pooper, Nova, has pooped in the bath a couple times and the most memorable was in Grandpa’s hot tub. First he gave them a ton of fresh fruit at the BBQ, then a couple scoops of vanilla ice cream, then it was, ” how ’bout a hot tub?” The kids played for a bit then Nova shouts with a frantic look on her face, ” I HAVE TO POOP!” (Guess the hot water got thing moving) Before anything could be done, she was. Then it was a frantic race of which twin or their 7yo brother could vacate the tub quicker while dodging “floaters.” The tub had to be drained and cleaned, but at least wed all got a good laugh, a lasting memory, and a great story to tell on her wedding day.

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April Palmer October 17, 2011 at 5:47 pm

I had no idea about the lottery system in San Fransisco! I live in Austin, Tx, but we are in a school district just outside of Austin that does not have great schools. We’re not allowed to even try to transfer into AISD (Austin Independent School District), so we opted for a charter school. Our older son got his first day of kindergarten but not much after that. I homeschool him now. No, wait! It’s not weird! I am not sure my second son will even have that first day, because we love the homeschooling. It was something to come to grips with, so I know what you’re feeling. But, with public schools having more and more problems, that first day of school just may not hold nearly the same weight in their upbringings as it held in ours.

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Daphne July 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I’m 1 for 2 on the poop in the bathtub thing.
the SF school lottery is stupid. only in SF ( I know I use to live there)

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