Friday the 13th is So Well Named

by doodaddy on August 14, 2010

Like all insomniacs, I blame my occasional bouts of sleeplessness on something. Tonight the culprit is the Outside Lands Festival.

Sitting up in bed at 3-something-a-frikkin’-m, I’ll imagine how stressful the traffic is going to be tomorrow when I try to cross town over the biggest Golden Gate Park festival of the year to get my daughter to a doctor’s appointment. An appointment that was made by my wife, whom I love dearly even up to her slight tendency to hypochondria. For a problem that I thought was probably nothing, and even the advice nurse agreed with me.

Except, maybe it’s not nothing, and here I am complaining about the minor inconvenience of a car trip when balanced against my daughter’s health.

So, of course, I’ll go and of course, now there’s that to worry about, too.

The clichés aren’t missing: there is a faucet dripping, nearby. The house is so quiet it rings in my ears, punctuated only by those discomfiting settling sounds.

Maybe the house is creaking to remind me how ineffectual I am both as “involved father” and “good housekeeper,” and god help me if I ever thought of trying to succeed at both.

And a thousand other little worries orbit my unsleeping body. Will I ever clean the garage? Do I really need to own a belt sander I’ve never used? Why didn’t I take steel wool to the sauté pan? Why can’t I sight-sing?

That’s the thing with insomnia: it’s rarely organized in its attack, it just surrounds you with minute needling thoughts. Flashes of awkward memories that you don’t know where to file. Seemingly unfixable disappointments.

And though being a dad is the most happymaking thing ever, the daily struggles still give me plenty of fodder for a good insomnia binge.

Bleh. See you in the morning.

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in sleep,whining,worry ·

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Dennis P October 5, 2010 at 9:46 pm

Hey, don’t worry about the insomnia. You’ve got great writing skills, and beautiful kid pictures. I like your blog, and hope there is more at some point.

Reply

Shumit October 22, 2010 at 2:06 pm

My unnecessary tool is a Compound Mitre saw. I have made exactly 3 wooden squares with it in the last year and a half.

I’m wondering if you wouldn’t be interested reading some of your blogs out-loudish. I’m considering putting together a reading series at the Bazaar cafe ( on California and 21st, as you are in the neighborhood). What say you?

Reply

Milla November 15, 2010 at 4:43 am

doodaddy, where are you? *wondering* i really hope you’re ok!

Reply

The Other Dawn January 24, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Hellooooo? Missing your words!

Reply

CJ March 25, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Your long disappearing act has become worrisome. I truly hope you and your family are OK…

Reply

doodaddy April 27, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Oh, nothing serious, just life catching up with me. Two kids and all that. Thanks for worrying, though!

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