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Bad Liar

by doodaddy on February 10, 2010

Fern came out of the bathroom this morning, tugging up her leggings. As usual, I hadn’t heard a flush, but I had more pressing concerns:

“Did you wipe?” When Fern’s in a hurry, she forgets the niceties.

“Yes!” she said.

“So if I look in the toilet, I’ll see some toilet paper?” Sometimes that forgetting-to-flush thing comes in handy.

“Yes!” she said.

We went back into the bathroom, and sure enough, no toilet paper in the bowl.

Until, that is, Fern pulled a few sheets off the roll and tossed them into the yellowy water.

“There, I wiped!” she said, beaming with pride at her clever deception.

“You know I’m standing right here, right?” I asked.

“Yes!” she said, now even more proudly than before.

I wonder how low I’d sink on the parenting-skills list if I explained to her how lying is supposed to work…

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in language,lying,mischief,teaching ·

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Alyson February 10, 2010 at 9:42 pm

Ha, I love this!!! I can just imagine the little face full of pride!!!

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Martin February 11, 2010 at 4:15 am

She’s heading for Capitol Hill I reckon…

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Nan February 12, 2010 at 3:01 am

Haha, yup, Sam at age 10 is JUST beginning to learn how to lie. It’s the weirdest thing! The other day I looked at him and said ‘Wow, you fibbed! Cool!’ and he was so proud. He almost got away with it, but no.

It’s strange, because Sam’s two brothers are accomplished fibbers.

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People in the Sun February 14, 2010 at 12:47 pm

This trick only works if it’s followed by banging your head against the wall, causing a short-term memory loss.

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Hip Mom's Guide February 15, 2010 at 12:33 pm

These are the things that confuse me. Why? Why wouldn’t you? Also, why not brush your teeth when you’re 13? Or wash your hair. With shampoo?

But I have to admire her resourcefulness. “Hey, see, the paper is right there Dad. Duh.” (Aging her a few years, of course.)

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Hurtigt mobilt bredbånd February 25, 2010 at 3:51 am

Hahaha your article is funny. She is so cute I think all the kids of this age lie to their parents. They think we do not know that they are lying.

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Opus March 4, 2010 at 8:28 pm

This is still giving me chuckles. Thanks for the laugh!

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The Party Animal March 9, 2010 at 8:32 am

Too Funny – Boy I have been there many times. I just had an issue with my son who is 12 I must add with washing his hair in the shower. He swore he washed it, but funny thing is that is was pretty much dry when he came out and still very dirty looking. So I said which Shampoo did you use? Knowing what was in there. And I got an Uhhhhh. So he was so nailed and had to go right back up to the shower and wash his dirty hair and he stomped his feet the entire way. So it never gets any better no matter what age they are.

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Manuel April 6, 2010 at 9:43 am

Well, if she’s going to do it anyway, might as well do it right!

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doodaddy April 8, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Exactly! We enrolled her in lying lessons at the Y for the summer.

VIOLA*MOMMY April 8, 2010 at 8:09 pm

OMG I love this post. I read it to my husband and he laughed so hard I thought he would cry. We to go through this with our son. He is always in such a hurry! THOUGH he thinks if he throws a TON of toilet paper in the toilet he is good and he can run off with out wiping. This is too cute though!

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doodaddy April 8, 2010 at 8:45 pm

In my bleariness when I read your comment I first thought you were talking about your husband. What a horrible faux-TMI moment!

VIOLA*MOMMY April 11, 2010 at 9:27 am

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That would be hilarious. No my SON! LOL When I read your posts they are a lot a like(my son and your daughter…not my husband *LOL*). He is going to be four and thinks he runs the world! I’m sure your daughter has her moments as well!

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doodaddy April 11, 2010 at 10:26 pm

Yeah, except for the “thinks” part — she *does* run it…

VIOLA*MOMMY May 5, 2010 at 9:32 pm

well…this is probably so true…I still like to think my children don’t run my world. Makes me feel almost like I can control something LOL.

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