Fern came out of the bathroom this morning, tugging up her leggings. As usual, I hadn’t heard a flush, but I had more pressing concerns:
“Did you wipe?” When Fern’s in a hurry, she forgets the niceties.
“Yes!” she said.
“So if I look in the toilet, I’ll see some toilet paper?” Sometimes that forgetting-to-flush thing comes in handy.
“Yes!” she said.
We went back into the bathroom, and sure enough, no toilet paper in the bowl.
Until, that is, Fern pulled a few sheets off the roll and tossed them into the yellowy water.
“There, I wiped!” she said, beaming with pride at her clever deception.
“You know I’m standing right here, right?” I asked.
“Yes!” she said, now even more proudly than before.
I wonder how low I’d sink on the parenting-skills list if I explained to her how lying is supposed to work…
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Ha, I love this!!! I can just imagine the little face full of pride!!!
She’s heading for Capitol Hill I reckon…
Haha, yup, Sam at age 10 is JUST beginning to learn how to lie. It’s the weirdest thing! The other day I looked at him and said ‘Wow, you fibbed! Cool!’ and he was so proud. He almost got away with it, but no.
It’s strange, because Sam’s two brothers are accomplished fibbers.
This trick only works if it’s followed by banging your head against the wall, causing a short-term memory loss.
These are the things that confuse me. Why? Why wouldn’t you? Also, why not brush your teeth when you’re 13? Or wash your hair. With shampoo?
But I have to admire her resourcefulness. “Hey, see, the paper is right there Dad. Duh.” (Aging her a few years, of course.)
Hahaha your article is funny. She is so cute I think all the kids of this age lie to their parents. They think we do not know that they are lying.
This is still giving me chuckles. Thanks for the laugh!
Too Funny – Boy I have been there many times. I just had an issue with my son who is 12 I must add with washing his hair in the shower. He swore he washed it, but funny thing is that is was pretty much dry when he came out and still very dirty looking. So I said which Shampoo did you use? Knowing what was in there. And I got an Uhhhhh. So he was so nailed and had to go right back up to the shower and wash his dirty hair and he stomped his feet the entire way. So it never gets any better no matter what age they are.
Well, if she’s going to do it anyway, might as well do it right!
Exactly! We enrolled her in lying lessons at the Y for the summer.
OMG I love this post. I read it to my husband and he laughed so hard I thought he would cry. We to go through this with our son. He is always in such a hurry! THOUGH he thinks if he throws a TON of toilet paper in the toilet he is good and he can run off with out wiping. This is too cute though!
In my bleariness when I read your comment I first thought you were talking about your husband. What a horrible faux-TMI moment!
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That would be hilarious. No my SON! LOL When I read your posts they are a lot a like(my son and your daughter…not my husband *LOL*). He is going to be four and thinks he runs the world! I’m sure your daughter has her moments as well!
Yeah, except for the “thinks” part — she *does* run it…
well…this is probably so true…I still like to think my children don’t run my world. Makes me feel almost like I can control something LOL.