- “Did you know that fairy princesses grow up to be wicked witches?”
- (During a bath.) “I have to run into the bedroom for a minute. Keep talking so I’ll know you haven’t drowned.”
- “If you ever date someone who drives an Escalade, I’ll disown you.”
- “I’ll love you almost as much if you have an outie.”
- “Who told you that I care what’s fair?”
- “My hands are full so I can’t talk to your imaginary friend on the banana phone right now. Can you put it on speakerphone?”
- “If you don’t eat breakfast, Santa comes back and takes your presents.”
- “If you really want to be a makeup artist, you have to learn not to kick your clients in the crotch.”
These are all true, as were these way back when. I’m a bad dad.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
@Aimee Greeblemonkey – That fairy princess thing is sure to rock his world…
@mom, again – Unfortunately, it only served as motivation: now she *wants* to be a witch.
@jessbesser – Ah, but you don’t see me in the dead of night… packing all the favorite clothes into Salvation Army bags…
@Bugfrog – Maybe use shackles? Not so much waste, more environmentally correct.
@Keith Wilcox – I expect that the only change will be that the Escalades will drive themselves.
@Sheltie – Boo keeps her head so far out of the water that drowning is pretty much the last thing on my mind. Then again… she could be hit by a stray meteorite…
I’m gonna print these out and give them ALL to Declan at ONCE for how he’s been acting lately. That’ll teach ‘em.
if I had a little girl, I’d be looking at the chance to use that line about fairy princesses. As it is, I’m racking my brain for someone with an appropriately aged girl who NEEDS to know this fact.
If people are still driving Escalades in the future God help us all!
my friend, i don’t know of too many dads out there who are as talented a father as you. you have not been, nor ever will be, a “bad dad.” capiche?
These make me feel not quite as bad for threatening to duct tape Lil Froggy’s feet together so he would stop running around. “Mama, would Dada really do that?”
I didn’t even HAVE any duct tape at the time.
“I have to run into the bedroom for a minute. Keep talking so I’ll know you haven’t drowned.”
That’s really good. I often have this conversation with my children too.