How weird are we? Not very — unless you’re from out of town.

by doodaddy on March 16, 2009

Mike and I took the girls down to Fisherman’s Wharf the other day to peer at the sea lions, eat fried squid, and otherwise enjoy the side of San Francisco that only you tourists usually get to see.


The girls on the town.

Parenting two kids in public is a octopus’s job: I was changing a diaper, chatting with Boo about sea lion poop, warming a bottle, and arranging a blanket. As I sent Boo off to play “leap of death” with Emmeline (no worries — Mike is totally buff) so I could feed the Blueberry, a passing Tourist Mom mentioned something to the effect that she should call our wives to let them know what a good job we’re doing.

Hee, hee. Yeah, call our wives.

Stay-at-home-dadding is crazy that way: one day you’ll be getting crap for not putting a jacket on your daughter or feeding the baby from a bottle (as if I have any choice in either matter), the next day you’ll be praised to the planets for basic competency.

Tourist Mom had clearly become mired in the swamp of assumptions. Mike and I, she could plainly see, are the kinds of dads who take Mondays off (once a month, maybe?) to take the kids off of mom’s hands. What great dads! They babysit and they change diapers, even!

I rarely set people straight on these matters (that’s what the blog is for), though I’ll admit I was sorely tempted to explain (laboriously) (again) all that men-can-be-nurturers crap. Or maybe just to impersonate a gay family — I mean, hello? two men with their three kids on the pier in San Francisco, doesn’t “married couple” even enter your mind?

But as usual, I didn’t say anything but “thank you” and sat comfortable in the knowledge that Tourist Mom at least witnessed dads being good with young kids. And that’s as much of a departure from her normal reality as she seemed ready to accept.

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tagged as , in friends,man date,San Francisco,what's it like to be a stay-at-home dad ·

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Damla March 16, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Don’t take it personal. When it is parenting, people love bossing on the street, whether mother or father.


doodaddy March 16, 2009 at 3:07 pm

@Damla – Or giving unwarranted praise, in this case…


Rattling the Kettle March 16, 2009 at 4:07 pm

I’m disappointed that nobody thought we were a couple when I visited last year. It was probably because I’m so obviously too handsome for you.


doodaddy March 16, 2009 at 4:10 pm

@Rattling the Kettle – Ah, yes, except they could have seen it as one of those Joel-Brinkley or Lovett-Roberts things. ‘Cause you know, I’m pretty talented at the kazoo.


bgw March 16, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Don’t look a gift praise in the mouth – wrangling 1.5 children a piece deserves praise in my book – regardless of parental gender. . .

My hubby takes the boy (our one and only – so far – is 17 months) out for some guy time and to give me some me time, and he would get all sorts of “aren’t you a good daddy” comments, especially when the boy was a wee little thing. I mean, yes, he is a good – even great – daddy, but not because he takes the boy for a walk in the mall. . .

Maybe the people who comment about you bottle feeding Blue have read about men who lactate on demand – breast is best, you know. =)

Your girls are gorgeous, btw. Hope you throughly enjoyed the seal poop.


cryitout March 16, 2009 at 8:13 pm

That’s exactly what I was thinking Dave.


goonerjamie March 18, 2009 at 9:06 am

I know the feeling. I am a full time househusband, and cannot believe the ammount of crap we have to take on a daily basis, although have taken a leaf out of your book and started a blog to vent with sarcasm.


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