The night before

by doodaddy on November 12, 2008

Our garage is constipated with the junk of former jobs and bygone hobbies, and I spent the day — this unique day before I change from father of one to father of two — carting boxes of useless miscellania from one end of the pile to another.

And hardly any time with my only child, who tomorrow will be a big sister.

“What’s happened to my priorities?” I wonder as I sit up late not quite sure about what to feel. I’m breaking down cardboard boxes and secretly condemning long-unused cookbooks to the heap instead of strengthening family ties and celebrating tomorrow’s blessed event. I organized Kleenex boxes so was too busy to play “Goofy Punk Rocker” with Boo.

Tomorrow might not be much better: by all appearances I will spend the day driving around except for a few short moments during the actual delivery, as none of my in-laws seem to have mastered the arts of getting Boo to sleep or San Francisco traffic.

My confusion is normal at this life juncture, I guess, but I’m not well pleased in these last few hours before delivery with how my mind has been so — distracted. I’m more attached to my housekeeping than my home.

Well, pooh. One thing I remember from Boo’s delivery is how the next weeks and months brought on a clarity of mission that I’d never before felt. And the same will happen tomorrow, I’m sure.

Until then, though, I’m sitting here sleepless and worrying about the stupidest crap imaginable.

Good night.

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in Blueberry,exhaustion,family,stay-at-home guilt ·

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Lynnie November 12, 2008 at 2:53 am

I would chalk the feeling up to “nesting” which is quite normal!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!! I hope everything goes well for you and your wife, and both girls! I’m jealous. I want to go back and do it all again! Although you’ll be busy as heck it’s so precious….there are no real words for you awesome it is. You’ll find out soon enough!

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donditiples November 12, 2008 at 5:23 am

Pre-traumatic syndrome?

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Backpacking Dad November 12, 2008 at 6:35 am

Fingers crossed for an easy delivery. Good luck.

I’m squeeing like a mommyblogger. :}

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Xbox4NappyRash November 12, 2008 at 11:10 am

Ooooh, quite the excitement, Martina’s nearly here.

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Rattling the Kettle November 12, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Breath! In. Out. In. Out.

No, wait, that’s how you got into this situation to begin with…

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The Other Dawn November 12, 2008 at 12:32 pm

Oooooh, I am so excited for you. I think you’re just experiencing a little eleventh hour nesting.

Can’t wait to hear how it all turned out.

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Veronica November 12, 2008 at 2:39 pm

Don’t forget the camera!

(Yes, I know that is a stupid thing to tell you because of COURSE you won’t forget the camera…but we forgot the camera and I regret it.)

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Robert November 12, 2008 at 2:50 pm

I don’t know that it’s stupid but it is poor planning if cleaning out the garage had anything to do with the new baby. After all you’ve had what, 8 months?
Aside from that I agree with the notion that you were probably working of some stress and practicing some avoidance. No point in feeling guilty about it, besides, the extra attention on that day probably wouldn’t have helped her cope with the baby but some extra attention in upcoming days will.
When our second was born we took our daughter in (she was two at the time)and put her right up next to Mommy while she was nursing the baby, with the idea of getting her ‘involved’. It worked for us.

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AMR November 12, 2008 at 4:51 pm

Good luck to Working Mom and yourself, DD. Deep, cleansing breaths. You’re a super dad to one — now your greatness will transcend to an audience twice that size!

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