“I gave my word to stop at third”

by doodaddy on September 24, 2008

Boo’s favorite magazine arrived: the Title IX Sportswear catalog. Not that she buys from it — she likes to draw mustaches on the models.

A little background: this catalog features female athletes modeling mostly sports bras. You’d say it’s risqué but the women look like they breakfast on nails so the effect is more tough than sexy. Nonetheless, as Boo adorns the bare midriffs with tattoos, it’s clear she’s entranced by the bodies. She loves naked.

* * *

We were at a fair over the weekend and I saw a teenaged girl sitting with her family. On her T-shirt in an excruciatingly large font was a slogan:

I gave my word to stop at third.

Now, I’ve got nothing against chastity pledges and abstinence education except that they’re idiotic and worse than useless and reckless.

No, the thing that struck me about this quaint family scene was that this highschooler was advertising some fairly specific details of her sex life (or her Clintonesque ‘not quite sex’ life) to not only the general public but also her mom, and dad, and little brother.


* * *

I know I’ve got years before I worry about sex ed, and that my wife will do all the heavy lifting (there’s a hidden advantage to having two girls!), but messages like the shirt’s and countless others already tick me off. It’ll be challenging enough giving her the skills to navigate the minefield of self-awareness without the Madonna/whore images we’re constantly bombarded with.

I’m reassured by the fact that when Boo sees a Madonna or a whore picture, her first impulse will probably be to draw a mustache on it. For now, at least, I’m going to encourage that habit as much as possible.

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in fears,oddparents,raising a girl ·

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Rattling the Kettle September 24, 2008 at 7:24 am

With a girl on the way, those concerns have been at the forefront of my mind lately. Good luck to us both.


orlund September 24, 2008 at 12:46 pm

I don’t think I will quite be able to change how the whole world portrays sex before my girl grows up so our girls will be exposed to more than we would like. Even though I cannot change the world I hope I am able to help decide how my girl views it. I think that is our only hope and if we can teach them to make the right decision even when we are not around then there is a lot less to fear.


VegasDad September 24, 2008 at 2:41 pm

So she’s basically advertising that second base is fair game?


Kyddryn September 24, 2008 at 3:22 pm

Umm…which one is third? I never understood that whole baseball thing…

Meanwhile, although I very much wanted a daughter, the Universe decided I was more of a son kinda gal…and one upside is this: When you have a son, you only have to worry about one boy…when you have a daughter, you have to worry about all the boys.

Cheerful, no?

I loathe that children are being sexualized at younger and younger ages – it’s nice to know your little one is more into tummystaches than weight control or chest size (I actually overheard a six-year-old girl complaining that she wanted to go low-carb because she was too fat but her mom wouldn’t let her…and I’m not entirely sure she was playing)(and there’s no excuse for dressing a toddler in those hoochie-mama clothes that Brittney Whatsername wears…really…a kid still in nappies doesn’t need the word “juicy” written across their bum).

Shade and Sweetwater,


doodaddy September 25, 2008 at 5:41 pm

@Rattling the Kettle – Girl on the way! Sorry I missed that! Congratulations! And, yeah… they’ve got some special concerns. At least she’ll have an older brother to beat up suitors.


doodaddy September 25, 2008 at 5:45 pm

@orlund – Not “quite,” huh? Yeah — it’s just that every year there seems to be more and more to teach over. Still — people manage, and I’m sure we will too!


doodaddy September 25, 2008 at 5:46 pm

@VegasDad – Actually, doesn’t it sound like third base is fair game, too? She really ought to translate the T-shirt a little. “MUTUAL MASTURBATION ONLY” — maybe that’s clearer?


doodaddy September 25, 2008 at 5:47 pm

@Kyddryn – Oh, I’m not even going there with the baseball metaphors for sex. Luckily, Wikipedia did it for me


Ophelia Rising September 25, 2008 at 5:59 pm

Yeah. That stuff bothers me, too. I also wince at the F-Bomb being dropped every five seconds by some. I mean, couldn’t they think up another adjective?

Speaking of embarrasing body part stuff, Olivia once saw a woman with really big boobs, and pointing at them, exclaimed delightedly, “Look! Mommy’s milk!” I pretended I didn’t know her.


sugarplumsmom September 26, 2008 at 3:46 pm

Ugh… I agree – those chastity pledges are ridiculous. Like the teenager is really gonna take the ring off or whatever your symbol is, if they change their mind and advertise it to their parents. My mom was the last person I wanted to tell.


doodaddy September 26, 2008 at 5:09 pm

@sugarplumsmom – I know, exactly. I’m going to head toward the “have an adult friend/mentor you can talk to” because I’ve *been* that for a bunch of kids, and it was really helpful for them. But you can’t of course *tell* teens that, they have to arrive there on their own.


doodaddy September 26, 2008 at 5:10 pm

@Ophelia Rising – How old was she at the time? 14? 😉


Ophelia Rising September 26, 2008 at 8:49 pm

I know, I know…I nurse my kids until they’re able to construct full sentences.

She was two – BUT on the early side of two. 🙂


doodaddy September 29, 2008 at 8:17 pm

@Ophelia Rising – Oh, nursing and boob obsession are unrelated. Boo was nursed until 2.1 and we only stopped because my wife had an appendectomy and needed to get some of them nasty pain relievers!


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