Comments on: Cry it Out? Screw That. Or, "Sleep Training for Dummies" http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/ A San Francisco stay-at-home dad getting the hang of things. Mon, 15 Feb 2010 19:33:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Doodaddy » This post is the water cooler where I get to complain about my two-year old boss and then go back to work feeling slightly relieved http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-6318 Doodaddy » This post is the water cooler where I get to complain about my two-year old boss and then go back to work feeling slightly relieved Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:37:16 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-6318 [...] had become a sleeping machine. Just a month ago she was a regular two a.m. terror, but thanks to a well-placed behavior chart she pulled herself together. For a month now [...] [...] had become a sleeping machine. Just a month ago she was a regular two a.m. terror, but thanks to a well-placed behavior chart she pulled herself together. For a month now [...]

]]> By: Annie http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-6137 Annie Wed, 30 Jul 2008 21:10:05 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-6137 A friend of mine went from laying down with her child, to sitting next to the bed, to sitting near the door, to sitting outside the door, to actually going downstairs but checking back every few minutes, to then eventually just being able to leave her little one to go to sleep on her own. Gradual progressions like this work best for all people involved. My husband is in the process of using this technique with our son, but hasn't progressed mostly because he's too lazy to change the routine I think! At the moment, he either lays down with our son (if he is tired too!) or he sits next to the bed and reads a book as he drifts off to sleep. We have decided NEVER to do cry it out. I outlined our reasons here: http://phdinparenting.wordpress.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/ A friend of mine went from laying down with her child, to sitting next to the bed, to sitting near the door, to sitting outside the door, to actually going downstairs but checking back every few minutes, to then eventually just being able to leave her little one to go to sleep on her own. Gradual progressions like this work best for all people involved.

My husband is in the process of using this technique with our son, but hasn’t progressed mostly because he’s too lazy to change the routine I think! At the moment, he either lays down with our son (if he is tired too!) or he sits next to the bed and reads a book as he drifts off to sleep.

We have decided NEVER to do cry it out. I outlined our reasons here:
http://phdinparenting.wordpress.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/

]]> By: Chris http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-6115 Chris Sun, 27 Jul 2008 03:28:33 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-6115 i am currently in this Cry it out method with my stubborn 7 month old daughter, I have always held her to sleep, rocked her, fed her etc.. its so bad that My wife and I are on 24 hour shifts, I work 10hrs a day and take care of my daughter as soon as I get in the door so my wife can sleep, she gets up around 1130 so i can go to bed to get up at 5 and repeat it has been this way for 7 months, finally I said $$%^# it!!! im tryint this cry it out method, not because I am a lazy parent, I am a sleep deprived, grumpy parent of a whiny whiny 7 month old.. my daughter is my world as any parent I love her more that anything. I hate to see her in stress or pain, but I will tell you what, this is my second night of doing this cry it out method, I have her on infrared camera so I can see what is going on in addidion to the baby monitor, so it helps, I know and can see she is safe, and guess what, it seems to be working, I dont follow the method exactly, I need to pick her up to comfort her, because she wont calm down, but it works, the first night was 2 hrs of terror, 3 5 and 10 minutes at a time, the second night was 1 hour, 3 5 and 10 minutes at a time, I hope tomorrow is 30 minutes. and less each time, I am a VERY overprotective worrywart parent, this is VERY hard, but the live see in the dark camera from sams club REALLY helps, i am currently in this Cry it out method with my stubborn 7 month old daughter, I have always held her to sleep, rocked her, fed her etc.. its so bad that My wife and I are on 24 hour shifts, I work 10hrs a day and take care of my daughter as soon as I get in the door so my wife can sleep, she gets up around 1130 so i can go to bed to get up at 5 and repeat
it has been this way for 7 months, finally I said $$%^# it!!! im tryint this cry it out method, not because I am a lazy parent, I am a sleep deprived, grumpy parent of a whiny whiny 7 month old..

my daughter is my world as any parent I love her more that anything. I hate to see her in stress or pain, but I will tell you what, this is my second night of doing this cry it out method,

I have her on infrared camera so I can see what is going on in addidion to the baby monitor, so it helps, I know and can see she is safe, and guess what, it seems to be working,

I dont follow the method exactly, I need to pick her up to comfort her, because she wont calm down, but it works,

the first night was 2 hrs of terror, 3 5 and 10 minutes at a time,

the second night was 1 hour, 3 5 and 10 minutes at a time,

I hope tomorrow is 30 minutes. and less each time,

I am a VERY overprotective worrywart parent, this is VERY hard, but the live see in the dark camera from sams club REALLY helps,

]]> By: Dawn http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-6015 Dawn Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:31:24 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-6015 I think some people sleep well and some people don't. Alex and I are in the DON'T camp. I think some people sleep well and some people don’t. Alex and I are in the DON’T camp.

]]> By: katkin http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-6003 katkin Tue, 15 Jul 2008 12:41:54 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-6003 Supernanny is the goddess of sleep training and there is some great info and advice on her website... here's a link. This really helped me... http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Your-child/-/Child-care/Why-you-should-be-strict-about-sleep.aspx Supernanny is the goddess of sleep training and there is some great info and advice on her website… here’s a link. This really helped me…

http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Your-child/-/Child-care/Why-you-should-be-strict-about-sleep.aspx

]]> By: Erica at Mom's Journal http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-5956 Erica at Mom's Journal Tue, 15 Jul 2008 02:41:28 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-5956 Yikes - I guess I'm a lazy parent. The child leash didn't come with my lazy parent kit though. I'm going to have to ask for my money back. *goes to pour herself another glass of wine since her child is fast asleep in her own bed and without fussing nor requiring anyone to juggle kittens for her* I didn't know it was called the The Ferber method or Ferberization, but that's what we did with Sophia at four months and it worked for us. I later learned another method that I may try the next time around (if there is a next time) - “The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night” By Elizabeth Pantly. I heard it takes longer than the method I used, but you don’t have to deal with the crying. I have no idea how effective it is on toddlers, but sounds like doodaddy has found something that works for boo. ;-) By the way that is an incredibly cute picture. Yikes – I guess I’m a lazy parent. The child leash didn’t come with my lazy parent kit though. I’m going to have to ask for my money back. *goes to pour herself another glass of wine since her child is fast asleep in her own bed and without fussing nor requiring anyone to juggle kittens for her*

I didn’t know it was called the The Ferber method or Ferberization, but that’s what we did with Sophia at four months and it worked for us. I later learned another method that I may try the next time around (if there is a next time) – “The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night” By Elizabeth Pantly. I heard it takes longer than the method I used, but you don’t have to deal with the crying. I have no idea how effective it is on toddlers, but sounds like doodaddy has found something that works for boo. ;-) By the way that is an incredibly cute picture.

]]> By: Susan http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-5940 Susan Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:19:50 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-5940 Oh, that is rough! I think if you have found something that works for you, go for it! Keilani slept with us in our bed until she was 13 months old, then we slooooowly transitioned her to her crib in her own room (took about a month-- some small tears but never alone) and she slept great for the next year. We moved her to a toddler bed around 20 months (3 months before baby sister was born) and she slept great and didn't mind the transition, but then started night-waking recently because she realized that Mommy & Daddy & Baby Sister were all sleeping in one room together and she was all alone in another! We tried letting her sleep with us one night (didn't work, nobody got any sleep), in her sister's crib in our room one night (didn't work, it wasn't close enough; she wanted to be IN our bed), and then had Daddy sleep in her room with her for a week to prove that it wasn't "scary" (and she still woke up all night each night wanting to hold Daddy's hand, sleep RIGHT next to Daddy, etc.). Finally, we just decided that of all of the "issues" we needed to resolve, sleep was of paramount importance to us. I do not function well on minimal sleep, and I'm just not a very good Mommy when I haven't had enough sleep! And ditto for Daddy, and Keilani herself is much more prone to accidents when she is tired. So, we finally put up a gate at the door to her room, mainly at my husband's urging-- I was so worried and didn't want to, but it WORKED! She cried for less than 5 minutes (I was watching the clock as it seemed like HOURS to me) and then went to sleep and slept all night! Next night, 3 minutes, and the following night, not at all. We also of course explained to her the importance of sleep, that she would sleep best in her own bed, and that it was our job to keep her safe and to make sure that she didn't get hurt and in order to do that, we needed to get a good night's sleep and she did, too. It seemed to work... That is just our experience though and every child is different, but I can't tell you what a huge difference having enough sleep has made in my life! I hope you get lots of good rest soon!!! Oh, that is rough! I think if you have found something that works for you, go for it! Keilani slept with us in our bed until she was 13 months old, then we slooooowly transitioned her to her crib in her own room (took about a month– some small tears but never alone) and she slept great for the next year. We moved her to a toddler bed around 20 months (3 months before baby sister was born) and she slept great and didn’t mind the transition, but then started night-waking recently because she realized that Mommy & Daddy & Baby Sister were all sleeping in one room together and she was all alone in another!

We tried letting her sleep with us one night (didn’t work, nobody got any sleep), in her sister’s crib in our room one night (didn’t work, it wasn’t close enough; she wanted to be IN our bed), and then had Daddy sleep in her room with her for a week to prove that it wasn’t “scary” (and she still woke up all night each night wanting to hold Daddy’s hand, sleep RIGHT next to Daddy, etc.).

Finally, we just decided that of all of the “issues” we needed to resolve, sleep was of paramount importance to us. I do not function well on minimal sleep, and I’m just not a very good Mommy when I haven’t had enough sleep! And ditto for Daddy, and Keilani herself is much more prone to accidents when she is tired.

So, we finally put up a gate at the door to her room, mainly at my husband’s urging– I was so worried and didn’t want to, but it WORKED! She cried for less than 5 minutes (I was watching the clock as it seemed like HOURS to me) and then went to sleep and slept all night! Next night, 3 minutes, and the following night, not at all. We also of course explained to her the importance of sleep, that she would sleep best in her own bed, and that it was our job to keep her safe and to make sure that she didn’t get hurt and in order to do that, we needed to get a good night’s sleep and she did, too. It seemed to work…

That is just our experience though and every child is different, but I can’t tell you what a huge difference having enough sleep has made in my life! I hope you get lots of good rest soon!!!

]]> By: doodaddy http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-5936 doodaddy Mon, 14 Jul 2008 18:05:36 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-5936 I seem to have struck a nerve. I hope we're not being lazy, but it seems like Boo would be better off learning to sleep on her own. I suspect we've missed the window for that, though, by fully two years, probably... We've read the book -- every book, I think. I seem to have struck a nerve. I hope we’re not being lazy, but it seems like Boo would be better off learning to sleep on her own. I suspect we’ve missed the window for that, though, by fully two years, probably…

We’ve read the book — every book, I think.

]]> By: Michele Shores http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-5935 Michele Shores Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:29:04 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-5935 Hannah goes to bed fairly well but sometimes she does fuss because she wants to play. We do let her cry it out if you will. It is more of a fuss. I don't agree with the comment above about crying it is lazy parenting. I do agree that consistency is key. We have a bath-brush teeth-lotion and story time routine then is in the bed and lights out. I will go check on her for a continuous hard cry, but I give it some time because children know those buttons to push and I know she has just been changed and fed etc. Most likely she is crying because she is not ready to go to bed. Sorry to keep writing just had to respond to the comment the mom wrote. I do think I am a lazy parent b/c I let my child cry. She is almost two. I do agree that infants should not be left to cry b/c they have needs and that is cruel but an older child I see nothing wrong with. Hannah goes to bed fairly well but sometimes she does fuss because she wants to play. We do let her cry it out if you will. It is more of a fuss. I don’t agree with the comment above about crying it is lazy parenting. I do agree that consistency is key. We have a bath-brush teeth-lotion and story time routine then is in the bed and lights out. I will go check on her for a continuous hard cry, but I give it some time because children know those buttons to push and I know she has just been changed and fed etc. Most likely she is crying because she is not ready to go to bed. Sorry to keep writing just had to respond to the comment the mom wrote. I do think I am a lazy parent b/c I let my child cry. She is almost two. I do agree that infants should not be left to cry b/c they have needs and that is cruel but an older child I see nothing wrong with.

]]> By: Michele Shores http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/comment-page-1/#comment-5934 Michele Shores Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:15:15 +0000 http://doodaddy.net/2008/07/14/cry-it-out-screw-that-or-sleep-training-for-dummies/#comment-5934 We let Hannah cry it out. She will be two next month. Sarah did the I'm hungry etc right after Hannah was born. We nipped it in the bud one night we let her cry. She was 4 1/2. She cried for almost 2 hours then she fell asleep. Every now and then she will ask for another snack just because she does not want to go to bed and I say sorry you already had one. Because she knows we will not give in she stops asking and goes on to bed. It is a test. Just be consistent. It is hard to hear them cry but sometimes you have to let them know this is how it is or they will try to run you over on everything. Just my thoughts. She is your baby and you know her best. We let Hannah cry it out. She will be two next month. Sarah did the I’m hungry etc right after Hannah was born. We nipped it in the bud one night we let her cry. She was 4 1/2. She cried for almost 2 hours then she fell asleep. Every now and then she will ask for another snack just because she does not want to go to bed and I say sorry you already had one. Because she knows we will not give in she stops asking and goes on to bed. It is a test. Just be consistent. It is hard to hear them cry but sometimes you have to let them know this is how it is or they will try to run you over on everything. Just my thoughts. She is your baby and you know her best.

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