Baby Bizarre: My kid is quirky, too!

by doodaddy on June 18, 2008

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My little goofball.

We had lunch with the boy who wears a dress and sparkly shoes at our playground today.

I hesitate to even mention it, really, because what does it matter? But I’m sure I’ll bring it up to my wife tonight, so clearly it’s in my head. Obviously, I don’t think he’s gay. (In the sage words of Martin Prince, “he’s not anything yet!”)

I do, however, think he’s quirky.

Idiosyncratic.

Odd Unique.

And that… makes me jealous. He’s the three-year old I’ve always wanted to be.

After lunch, Quirky Boy and Boobaby together played that most classic of toddler’s games: “Broadway Choreographer.” In turns, each child invented a step that the other (and me, and quirky boy’s resigned-looking nanny) would then repeat. Boo’s steps led usually involved jumping up from a squat with our hands behind our backs, so my back is sore like a kangaroo without a chiropractor. (Hm. I might need to go to simile camp.) QB’s dance steps mostly involved pirouettes, so add in some severe ankle pain.

Ah, the ravages of a dancer’s life.

Don’t get me wrong: Boobaby has her peculiarities, they’re just too arcane to share. Hasn’t every parent has tried to describe (usually over cocktails) something really cool about their kid?

“Ohmigod you should have been there because then he said ‘pomegranate’ and he’s never said that and it was just soooo funny HA HA and you should have seen the look on the policeman’s face… “

And every parent who relates some version of this story watches the blank faces droop from everyone listening, the chirrups of crickets echoing in the distance. We lamely grunt “I guess you had to be there…” and then pretend to listen in as the conversation turns to a more globally interesting topic, like baseball or Estonian literature.

Other people just don’t get why our kid is so frikkin’ cool.

To make up for the world’s ignorance, my wife and I train Boobaby to perform for us. I got her to somersault around the age of 14 months, which freaked a lot of the first-aid-kit moms. We taught her useful words like “fluctuate” and “crepuscular” and “Barack-Obama-Yes-We-Can!” Now she likes to tell jokes (“What has four eyes but can’t see?”).

See what I mean? Stupid. Baby. Tricks.

Boobaby is a real goofball, but in ways that don’t stand out like the boy’s princess dress. Children are astoundingly singular creatures: every toddler I’ve ever spent time with says freakishly amazing things. The trick — that I’ve yet to learn well — is listening instead of talking, watching instead of looking, noticing not just the ruby red slippers on the outside (which, after all, his mom might have picked out) but the iconoclast inside them.

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tagged as in friends,playground,stupid baby tricks ·

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Backpacking Dad June 18, 2008 at 8:37 am

This one was fantastic.

Reply

Ophelia Rising June 18, 2008 at 11:43 am

Jack used to have a purple princess dress that he wore everywhere. Unfortunately, society finally got to him. I sort of miss that dress, now.

Thank you for reminding me about paying attention. You’ve made me shed a few tears. I really needed to read that today.

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Xbox4NappyRash June 18, 2008 at 1:05 pm

Doodaddy fodder at it’s finest.

Somehow, and I know this against the general tone, but the idea of that poor wee kid being seen as odd at this stage of the game is saddening. People should be allowed to be as odd as they like!

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doodaddy June 18, 2008 at 1:06 pm

Oh, but he is, a little at least… in the very best way.

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mep June 18, 2008 at 1:07 pm

Because not everyone is as tickled by how our toddler says “alpaca” as we are, my hubby and I have taught him a cool party trick. He runs at full speed and tackles my husband. Then, he pounds his chest like Tarzan.

Great post.

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doodaddy June 18, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Very, um… creative!

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Veronica June 18, 2008 at 11:06 pm

Apparently little boys go through dress up phases (worse than little girls, so god help me later on) and will dress as whatever they like for a week or amonth or whatever.

Lately I have seen a pirate, a cowboy AND a fairy, all out at supermarkets. The fairy’s mother looked slightly more sheepish than the other 2 mothers, so I smiled and told her how great he looked and it was fantastic that he was allowed to wear it out in public.

But on the subject of clothes? We are going through The Naked Toddler stage and clothes are evil.

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Jessica June 19, 2008 at 11:12 am

looking up words in the dictionary……………..

Our children are truly amazing and those that don’t see it are blind.

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