Where’s the Beef Mallet?
Posted on April 13th, 2008 in exhaustion, housework
We went to a party for a two-year old yesterday. Looking around our friends’ delightful, uncluttered home I had to wonder, and I’m sure you would have, too: Where’s their motorized post-it note dispenser?
That wasn’t the only question I had looking around their lovely San Francisco flat. Like ours, it’s high on charm but with modest floor space compared with a new house in, well, anywhere else except maybe Manhattan. So I just couldn’t figure out: where do they put their fondue pot? Where’s the papier-mâché pig if not on the kitchen counter? The boxes of 3×5 recipe cards that will probably never be looked at in this age of Internet recipes?
I mean, we all have this crap, right? Looking around our friends’ house, though, I was at a loss as to where they keep it. The twelve file drawers’ worth of papers and books marked "OLD WORK STUFF" — where do they put that? Not to mention the extra sofas and armchairs… do they have a secret compartment somewhere?
Everyone’s got clutter, it’s safe to say, but some people manage to manage it. Many have mastered that daily skill of not accumulating paper, knick-knacks, cooking tools, toys, and techno-gadgets beyond their needs. Maybe they have one little overflow closet, but what’s out in the open doesn’t overwhelm their space.
So I sit here, taking a brief break from what has become my task for nearly every free hour of every weekend: while my wife is out entertaining two-year old Boobaby through the nausea of early pregnancy, I’m trying to get a handle on housework, and, of course, since I’m uncluttering for three on this gorgeous day, I frequently succumb to resentment, too. Insult upon injury.
Well, back to it.
Yeah, I Twitter, don't laugh. 
April 13th, 2008 6:16 pm
Tell you what -
You come here and do my taxes, and I’ll go there and unclutter your house. Self-employment is a lovely thing most moments…
April 13th, 2008 9:08 pm
Ah yes… I have far more knick knacks than my husband would like. It’s tough to stay on top of the clutter and easy to feel overwhelmed… check out http://www.flylady.net. You can check out the website or sign up for the yahoo group e-mails and when I’ve actually followed along, I’ve done pretty well at keeping up on house stuff.
April 13th, 2008 9:15 pm
How funny you should mention, but I used to be on the flylady list, too! I finally decided to drop off because I felt even more inadequate with the daily e-mails coming in. Plus she seems completely obsessive about her sink and she advocated using both bleach and ammonia on it at one point, which is, of course, not a good idea… but I totally dug the concept!
April 13th, 2008 10:08 pm
Your friends sound totally awesome, and I bet the husband is handsome as all get out. He just sounds like a wonderful, super guy.
(Dude, you didn’t see the upstairs. Second floors are designed to hide crap when guests come over.)
April 14th, 2008 2:55 am
Garage or storage unit. The End.
(no one gets rid of all their shit, they just hide it)
April 14th, 2008 1:33 pm
I cannot manage clutter. It is everywhere and sometimes like here recently I want to scream. I just can’t seem to stay on top of it. AAAGGGHHH
They totally stuffed that sh*t somewhere.
April 14th, 2008 7:17 pm
Yeah, that’s what he says (it was Mike, he copped to it), but I don’t believe it. ‘Cause I looked through his closets and stuff.
April 14th, 2008 7:24 pm
Yeah, except the garage is already full and storage units cost a bundle around here. Plus, you know — more just accumulates!