Playing with the big boys. Well, the boys, anyway.

by doodaddy on March 26, 2008

Guess what my wife brought home for me today?

Biohazard1
And to think — some people’s wives buy them iPhones. (You know who you are.)

Oh, lordy. Remember how I was emotionally scarred by my friend’s stellar grade on his masturbation test? (Who else would get an A+ in self-love?) And, of course, you’ve read how our favorite Dutch Treat made his contribution, too.

Now it’s my turn.

Working Mom’s OB is worried that we’ve been trying for a year and gotten nowhere on a Boo-sibling. Never mind that all the machinery has worked before, nor that Boo only de-boobed a month ago. (Remember, we managed the weaning by giving mom an emergency appendectomy, just like the baby books advise.)

I mean, I think we could give it a month of non-nursing, post-op impregnating before we call in the big guns. (By which I mean the fertility tests, not whatever gun metaphor you had in mind.) Moreover, if anyone’s juices are in question, wouldn’t they be those of the hormonal former nurser?

But these things are co-ed nowadays, and so tomorrow will find me with the above decorative orange bag clutched in one hand and my ego tucked away in the back of the freezer.

I’d say "wish me luck," but, well, eeeew.

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tagged as in failure,pregnancy for dads ·

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Xbox4NappyRash March 26, 2008 at 11:57 am

Can I just take a serious moment to add my knowledgeable contribution to your plight…

‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….’

I’m laughing so hard I can’t even make a joke about how you look like John Lennon at a nuclear rally. Oh look, I did….

Reply

Ann Marie March 26, 2008 at 12:17 pm

Dude.. I officially now know just a tad too much..

just ew

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doodaddy March 26, 2008 at 12:21 pm

I considered balancing the vial on my head, but that seemed even worse…

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Debbie March 26, 2008 at 12:39 pm

Many don’t get pregnant while nursing. (Of course, that was NOT me, but it is the case for many)

On another note, this could be fun!

Did I fix the link?

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Stephen March 26, 2008 at 1:11 pm

Biohazard? Eww. :)

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doodaddy March 26, 2008 at 1:24 pm

I know — who knew? I guess one man’s biohazard is another man’s … I think I won’t finish that.

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A Whole Lot of Nothing March 26, 2008 at 2:01 pm

Good luck with your junk!!

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cryitout March 26, 2008 at 2:46 pm

I am so with Ann Marie on this one — I could have lived a long, long time without seeing that bag and your little face behind it. Are you smiling? Ew.

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Rattling the Kettle March 26, 2008 at 6:08 pm

Ummm…I guess there’s nothing wrong with checking your junk out to make sure it’s all working, but what is the doc going to do with the information when it comes back fine? Prescribe clomid? When you’ve only tried *once* post-breastfeeding? I’d recommend more traditional methods, like f*cking every day for a few months first.

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Jessica March 27, 2008 at 5:57 am

Oh you poor dear. I would also say give it a month or so but then I also know how it feels in her shoes too. Before I found out the I was impregnated with Lil’ Bum we were actually supposed to have started testing. They said the guys is easiest so he goes first. Mr. Bum was not extremely happy but I guess the scare was just what the little soldiers needed to kick it into high gear and get the job done.

Good Luck! Have Fun! :) Sorry I just had to.

Did you get my email with the questions?

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Anne March 27, 2008 at 6:04 am

Wow, yeah… one month post-nursing, surgery, and they are wondering why “it” hasn’t happened? It seems that doctors are in such a hurry. When I had my son, they wanted to hook me up to a pitocin drip the minute my butt hit the bed.

Good luck. :-/

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Scott March 27, 2008 at 7:39 am

LMAO!!! Well…I think this is one time that I wont offer to give you a hand for the task at hand!!!

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doodaddy March 27, 2008 at 12:18 pm

Oh, I totally agree. We’re getting on in years, though, so I think they just wanted to run the tests now so we’d know if we were — um, playing with a loaded gun?

Or whatever.

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