Comments on: Feral Toddlers Attack

By: Pete Aldin - freakedout fathers

Pete Aldin - freakedout fathers — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:48:56 +0000

Man, I totally get this. I have to slap myself constantly to stop comparing myself with other parents (or more likely, comparing them with me – ‘my what poor parenting skills that one has! – tsk tsk’)

I think it partly stems from actually giving a damn.

By: Doodaddy » A Friend is a Playground

Doodaddy » A Friend is a Playground — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 09:27:40 +0000

[...] days: playgrounds seem passé, kids’ museums too forced. My enormous oeuvre of “weird-parents-at-the-playground” posts might imply that I’m a playground addict (and amateur [...]

By: doodaddy

doodaddy — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:41:41 +0000

Not labor? I’ve got Boobaby feeding the cat, and she can drive a pretty good screw, too!

By: Jessica

Jessica — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:10:37 +0000

Although it is not enjoyable it is natural to compare yourself to others. In my case it is usually feeling inferior for working outside of home.

I think it is sad that some dads can let go of the manly type barrier and let go with their kids. I love watching my hubs run around the house like a dork playing chase. I also loves how he includes Lil’ Bum with the animal care. Not like labor just taking her along to learn.

By: doodaddy

doodaddy — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:59:15 +0000

Yeah, I know. That all makes sense — until other moms being “perfect” means they look down on things I do. My “perfect” is a little, well, let’s just say, unusual, or so I’m being made to feel…

By: sugarplumsmom

sugarplumsmom — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:10:18 +0000

Heh… my first thought was “welcome to the club!” because as Leah said, Mom’s, both wort at home and out of home, are in constant competition. I don’t think it’s on purpose… but we all strive to have great kids and at this age, our children’s behavior is seen so much as a reflection of ourselves as parents. Especially when bad things happen. The Columbine tragedy? I wondered where the parents were. Jeffrey Dahmer? I wondered what kind of parents raised him… it’s totally unfair but parents have such a huge responsibility, it’s hard to not strive to be “perfect”.

By: debbie

debbie — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:25:47 +0000

It sounds to me like you are normal in every way!!!!! (Especially with a first child) Over time, you will throw all of the books away, stop comparing yourself to others (a little, anyway) and realize, like all other parents, you are doing your personal best. What more can you do?
As far as playground competition, mommy group competition and wait, you have not met the great PTA yet…….. you’ll survive.( just make sure you have on the RIGHT outfit, and sell the most magazines in your class, volunteer for everything and act like you LOVE being there!

By: doodaddy

doodaddy — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:55:57 +0000

Oh, yeah, the PTA — not looking forward to that! I think (luckily) being a man I might escape the “right outfit” thing, but I expect that bake sales will be a big deal all the same!

By: doodaddy

doodaddy — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 03:29:48 +0000

Oooh, you’re a psychologist? I sympathize with your kids — I too am a Psy.K.

My self-worth vacillates grotesquely. There are moments (albeit short ones) I feel the completely perfect parent in every way, and others when I feel lost and alone and like I’d be completely screwing up this kid if it weren’t for the fact that I probably don’t have that much power.

By: Dr. Leah - Transformation Revolution

Dr. Leah - Transformation Revolution — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:43:15 +0000

Yeah, I want rid of it – except for those times when I think I am winning and, honestly, at those times, I sometimes just use my feeling of winning the mom thing as some proof of my worth. It’s crazy, I know. But that’s the way it is some days.

Full disclosure – I’m a psychologist by background – so it’s even funnier/more ironic to admit that this is my crazy way of shoring up my proof of self-worth. Seems like I should be able to do that without external proof.

But parenting is so weird – the self-worth risks are so much greater. It’s a bigger deal, so I revert back to old ways of coping – proving myself to myself by feeling better than someone else. That’s the honest answer anyway…

My girls are 9 and 11 now – it’s gotten better over time. I guess at this point I have more of a sense of who my kids are- their strengths and weaknesses. And I have more of a sense of myself as a parent – my strengths and weaknesses. I have a better balance within myself. I’m not rating other people as parents so much, because I’ve lightened up on myself.