Cut the crap.

by doodaddy on March 16, 2008

Am I the only parent who hates the term "potty"? I don’t want to go to the potty. I don’t "potty train" Boo. I haven’t sung "Potty all the time, potty all the time, potty all the time" since that horrible Karaoke night in college.

It’s not that I’m into using the "clinical" term for everything (remember, we say "hoo-hoo" in our house and it ain’t to describe the screech of an owl). I just think "potty" is weird. Like, does it always mean "number two," or does it sometimes just mean the little room with the porcelain bowl? As in, "I’m going to the potty to brush my teeth"? Eeeeew.

I guess it could be worse. My mother-in-law insists on saying things like "I think Boobaby just moved her bowels." Moved ’em? Moved ’em where? Are they in the fridge? Did they go to Cincinnati on the redeye?

The problem is that we’re forced to say "potty" since it’s what every other parent says, except the British and Irish, of course, to whom "go potty" has a very different meaning. (As in "I think I’ll go potty if I have to hear more about potty.")

I think it boils down to this: I hate baby talk. It feels awkward on my tongue — almost condescending — to use a two-syllable nonsense word to replace the correct, two-syllable word. Maybe I’m just trying to preserve the last vestige of my adult dignity.

Nah, that’s not it. I just don’t see the point in talking down to kids, whatever the age.

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