Parallel Parking my Butt

by doodaddy on March 12, 2008

I pulled our little Honda into a vast parking spot today and was about to disembark when I got "tooted" by another driver. Checking the mirror I saw a beached Lexus SUV angled into the ample space I’d left. The driver was frantically waving me forward, so I restarted the car and pulled up against the next car to accommodate her boat.

Cue High Noon music. We’d both parked and clearly we’d be meeting face to face, so I had to think of something say. I really wanted to be prickly — what my stepmother once termed "assholian." Here are the options that ran through my mind:

  • "Wow, those Lexus horns sure are intense!"
  • "San Francisco parking is tough, huh?" (We’re in the ‘burbish part of San Francisco now, so there was plenty of parking.)
  • "Sorry, I didn’t see that there was a boat behind me."
  • [anguished but silent stare]

But I’m a conciliating wuss, so I played nice. Mostly.

When Parking-Challenged Mom got out of the car and said tentatively "Oh, thanks…" I just said "No problem. That’s a big car, huh?" To which she smiled and mentioned that she was tired, which she illustrated by decanting her 8-month old from the car.

Funnily enough, there was more parallel parking to negotiate. It turns out we were both going to the same place, a make-up music class. As the class circle re-formed after one of the dances, this same mom sat plopped down right in front of Boobaby and me, leaving no room on either side. I tried to slide in next to them, but she didn’t notice.

I didn’t honk, though; I moved around to an empty spot on the other side of the circle.  Giving up a parking space (or rug space) without (much) complaint to a mom having a tough day should mean major karma points for me, right?

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tagged as in behavior,oddparents ·

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

doodaddy March 12, 2008 at 12:28 pm

God, I sooooo wanted to. Maybe not the ass-(arse-)kicking, but at least the glare.

I am so not nice. I just pretend.

Because I’m a wuss.


debbie March 12, 2008 at 7:59 pm

Been there, seen that and done it on the EAST coast and in the snow thinking I was all there.. HATE those moments!!!


sugarplumsmom March 12, 2008 at 8:56 pm

It sucks when people are clueless to those around them… but kudos to you for cuttin her some slack for having a tough day.


doodaddy March 12, 2008 at 9:43 pm

If you’d been there I don’t know if you’d’ve said I cut her some slack. There might — just might — have been a little edge to my tone.


At first.




Kelley March 12, 2008 at 11:55 pm

Nah, I would have kicked her arse and keyed her car and then zoomed home to brag about it on my blog.

But that is me. I am not nice like you.


Jessica March 13, 2008 at 7:13 am

I suck at parallel parking. That was the one part of my driving exam that I didn’t pass. They gave me my license anyway because we didn’t have much need for parallel parking where I grew up. I avoid it like the plague.

Definitely karma points to you.


doodaddy March 13, 2008 at 9:33 am

Aw, it’s not that hard, just something to learn. Changing a two-year old’s diaper when she doesn’t want it changed is hella harder.


Jennifer March 13, 2008 at 11:27 am

I can’t parallel part to save my life. However, I wouldn’t have honked at you.

Good thing you weren’t assholian since you were both going to the same place!


doodaddy March 13, 2008 at 4:34 pm

I can parallel part if Boo lets me get in there with a brush. It’s actually kind of neat — I can do three separate pigtails.

:-P, Dd.


GoaldeeBug April 20, 2008 at 8:35 pm

Good for you! Great article, btw 🙂


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