Parallel Parking my Butt
Posted on March 12th, 2008 in behavior, oddparents
I pulled our little Honda into a vast parking spot today and was about to disembark when I got "tooted" by another driver. Checking the mirror I saw a beached Lexus SUV angled into the ample space I’d left. The driver was frantically waving me forward, so I restarted the car and pulled up against the next car to accommodate her boat.
Cue High Noon music. We’d both parked and clearly we’d be meeting face to face, so I had to think of something say. I really wanted to be prickly — what my stepmother once termed "assholian." Here are the options that ran through my mind:
- "Wow, those Lexus horns sure are intense!"
- "San Francisco parking is tough, huh?" (We’re in the ‘burbish part of San Francisco now, so there was plenty of parking.)
- "Sorry, I didn’t see that there was a boat behind me."
- [anguished but silent stare]
But I’m a conciliating wuss, so I played nice. Mostly.
When Parking-Challenged Mom got out of the car and said tentatively "Oh, thanks…" I just said "No problem. That’s a big car, huh?" To which she smiled and mentioned that she was tired, which she illustrated by decanting her 8-month old from the car.
Funnily enough, there was more parallel parking to negotiate. It turns out we were both going to the same place, a make-up music class. As the class circle re-formed after one of the dances, this same mom sat plopped down right in front of Boobaby and me, leaving no room on either side. I tried to slide in next to them, but she didn’t notice.
I didn’t honk, though; I moved around to an empty spot on the other side of the circle. Giving up a parking space (or rug space) without (much) complaint to a mom having a tough day should mean major karma points for me, right?
Yeah, I Twitter, don't laugh. 
March 12th, 2008 12:28 pm
God, I sooooo wanted to. Maybe not the ass-(arse-)kicking, but at least the glare.
I am so not nice. I just pretend.
Because I’m a wuss.
March 12th, 2008 7:59 pm
Been there, seen that and done it on the EAST coast and in the snow thinking I was all there.. HATE those moments!!!
GRAB THE SPACE!
March 12th, 2008 8:56 pm
It sucks when people are clueless to those around them… but kudos to you for cuttin her some slack for having a tough day.
March 12th, 2008 9:43 pm
If you’d been there I don’t know if you’d've said I cut her some slack. There might — just might — have been a little edge to my tone.
Maybe.
At first.
:),
Dd.
March 12th, 2008 11:55 pm
Nah, I would have kicked her arse and keyed her car and then zoomed home to brag about it on my blog.
But that is me. I am not nice like you.
March 13th, 2008 7:13 am
I suck at parallel parking. That was the one part of my driving exam that I didn’t pass. They gave me my license anyway because we didn’t have much need for parallel parking where I grew up. I avoid it like the plague.
Definitely karma points to you.
March 13th, 2008 9:33 am
Aw, it’s not that hard, just something to learn. Changing a two-year old’s diaper when she doesn’t want it changed is hella harder.
March 13th, 2008 11:27 am
I can’t parallel part to save my life. However, I wouldn’t have honked at you.
Good thing you weren’t assholian since you were both going to the same place!
March 13th, 2008 4:34 pm
I can parallel part if Boo lets me get in there with a brush. It’s actually kind of neat — I can do three separate pigtails.
:-P, Dd.
April 20th, 2008 8:35 pm
Good for you! Great article, btw
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