Suburbs are freakshows.

by doodaddy on January 17, 2008

I kid you not: suburban existence is way weirder than the Haight-Ashbury scene.

OK, we’re not officially in a suburb, just a more residential part of San Francisco, but still, I just don’t get the vibe here. Back in the "urbs" of the Lower Haight, you’re cordial with nice people, you snicker at freaky people (and avoid them after dark), and you get all personal only with your friends.

Within five minutes‘ conversation with Neighbor A, I knew that she had two grown daughters, both had been adopted, and the younger of the two was living with a seedy boyfriend that Mrs. A would like to push off a cliff because he was misusing her sexually. Yikes!

Neighbor B, on the other hand, will not make eye contact with me. I quite intentionally putter around the front yard when I see him outside, holler "Good morning!", and tell Boobaby to flirt at him, but no luck. Lickety-split he’s back inside behind the always-closed blinds.

I guess I’m just unfamiliar with semi-suburbanites and their mysterious ways. Am I ever going to feel at home here?

At least we’ve got a garden.

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tagged as , in community,fears,moving ·

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Ophelia Rising January 17, 2008 at 5:06 pm

Wow. This is amazing. It could be our neighborhood. We have a lovely man next door, who talks with us and tells us literally everything under the sun, and then on the other side our neighbors duck inside, perhaps screaming “No!” in their heads when they see us, pretending we don’t exist or that we will somehow just vanish if they will it to be so.

I don’t understand those who don’t have the wherewithal, the chutzpah, or whatever you want to call it, to say “hello.” What is the big deal?

I have yelled hello, waved wildly, saluted in a friendly fashion while driving by, but to no avail. (Maybe that’s why they think I’m so weird, come to think of it…)

I guess I should explore this more in a post, myself. I’m submitting a very long comment here. (sorry.)


doodaddy January 17, 2008 at 5:22 pm

Don’t be silly — I lurve long comments! I just have so little experience with this whole suburby thing, and, I have to say, I’m not entirely sure I want much!

Not that I have a choice. At least I get to complain about it on my blog!



Avery January 17, 2008 at 6:04 pm

We have neighbors like that, too. The only time they ever talk to us is when we’re at the mailbox at the same time, and then they usually say something socially awkward, like, “Well, I better get my mail and go home. My cat has the runs.” And we’re going, “Um, yeah.”

I think I understand why they don’t talk much.

Anywho, just wanted to thank you profusely from the bottom of my heart for your help with the HTML on my template. I am forever in your debt.

Do you like banana bread?


cryitout January 18, 2008 at 7:17 am

An awesome garden, it should be noted. And a kick-ass floor plan. DD’s house is so cool, I bet the neighbor is just jealous beyond words.


doodaddy January 18, 2008 at 1:40 pm

Aw, thanks. But I don’t think that’s it! Maybe it’s the Nirvana T-shirt I always wear.


Aimee Greeblemonkey January 20, 2008 at 10:05 am



Stephen January 20, 2008 at 12:13 pm

Whoa, weird. Not quite so exciting here. 🙂


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