I’m Marlin. She’s Dory. Got It?

by doodaddy on October 13, 2007


Park Buddy’s the one on the right.

At the playground the other day, a mom I barely know came over to ask me,

"So… where’s Park Buddy?"

I explained to her what you faithful readers already know: Buddy Boy’s in school now, so we don’t see as much of them at the playground. That handled the denotative part of the question.

The subtext, though, was "Even I, who don’t know you, can tell that you two see an awful lot of each other."

Wink wink.

Nudge nudge.

Seething a bit, I found myself wanting to explain that (straight) men and women can be "just friends": just because your gender, orientation, age, and all the other elements of attraction theoretically line up doesn’t mean you are somehow forced to lust for one another. Our shared passion is parenting, not random wantonness. We’re very similar, Park Buddy and I, we make each other laugh, we give each other advice. We like each other a lot; but not like that, OK? And it’s a little weird that you would jump to that conclusion on the basis of a few paltry playground observations.

But there’s no point in explaining common sense: you either get it or you don’t. So I just smiled, answered the question she spoke and not her implication, and imagined to myself the very model for male-female friendships: Marlin and Dory*. Concerned about the kid, they bonded heroically, and no one back at the reef made snide, knowing comments.

*And if you haven’t seen Finding Nemo, you should.

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tagged as in friends,parentolitics,surrounded by mommies ·

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Manda October 13, 2007 at 6:26 am

I absolutely love Finding Nemo. Dory just cracks me up and more often than not, I feel just like she does. Mezmorized by life’s challenges of remembering something that happened less than 30 seconds ago. Must be the aftermath effects of parenthood no?
Don’t worry about how others pervieve your friendships because in plain english.. who are they to judge? Ack.

I know — I totally want to know Dory’s backstory. Ostracized, apparently by her family even… so what’s the deal?

Maybe in Finding Nemo II.



Dawn October 13, 2007 at 8:48 am

People suck.


Kelley October 13, 2007 at 3:06 pm

My daughters best friends dad is my boss. He wasn’t always my boss. But about 6 months ago he got the gig and I was so proud of him, and excited because he (like his son with my daughter) is my friend. Oh and he is my bitch too……. 🙂
He buys me coffee and asks if I need anything when he goes out and rings me when I am sick. You know, what a FRIEND does….

There were rumours flying that we were ‘involved’ before he got the ‘boss’ job. Because we were seen organising things on Tuesday afternoons. Or calling across the hall ‘I’ll do it tonight, see you at 7!’ Our kids were doing a school production miles away and we were taking it in turns to pick them up. But nooooo, apparently we were making out in the photocopy room. It is worse now he is my boss.

People that know me know better.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming and ignore small minded people.


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