The Stay-at-Home Dads’ Sophomore Fifteen

by doodaddy on September 1, 2007

I’m a skinny guy — 5’11” and 150 pounds. (That’s 11 stone for you Brits.)

Since I usually eat the scraps of what Boobaby eats, I stuck to that weight all through her various phases:

  • the nursing-only phase (obviously, I’m not even going there);
  • the baby rice cereal phase (Man, have you tried that stuff? Eeew. Plus we made it with pumped breast milk. Double eeew.);
  • the pureed veg phase (I’d chug breast milk before I’d willingly eat strained and homogenized green beans);
  • the anything that’s a fruit phase (I think I actually lost weight eating her leftovers at that point).

Now in the middle of year two, however, we’ve entered the…

“I’ll only eat it if it’s a carbohydrate, preferably with a fair bit of salt or sugar, or both” phase.

We don’t have it as bad as some families — I can still get Boo to eat fruit if I pretend I’m picking it off a tree. But given her ‘druthers, Boo would eat nothing but crackers and rice cakes.

And, as a result, I’m eating a lot of crackers and rice cakes, and feeling a lot like I did that first year of college when, as a newly-minted vegan, I ate mostly peanut butter and my skin shrunk to a pallid yellow even as I gained 15 pounds. My jeans — and I’ve worn the same size since grade 10 — suddenly don’t fit. I just got on the scale and found that I’m 165 pounds, at least a stone over my average.

Back in my teens, my solution was to discover the salad bar at the dining commons, where, I’ll admit, I snuck bacon bits onto my otherwise lacto-ovo-meat free repast. (I was only a vegan to impress a girl, and she didn’t eat at my dorm. Nor was she particularly impressed, anyway. But that’s another story.)

So, when do I start my baby eating salad? I’ll be very disappointed if I can’t keep my 19-year old jeans.

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in aging,food ·

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

REdsy September 1, 2007 at 8:42 pm

yah yah, i could break you like a pencil.. beware of the kids eating carbs… OY!

anyHOO i figured out how to redirect from wordpress so drop me a line (i can’t find your goddamn email on this site)

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Johnny September 3, 2007 at 8:34 pm

*knocks on wood*

Rachel has, so far, been pretty good about eating. Her phases involve only carrots or only pineapple. She has eaten a lot of weird items, but has refused little and even littler before she’s tried it.

My wife said that she has tried everything that she’s given Rachel. I was, however, smart enough to stay away from the pureed vegetables.

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