I’m Not Bad, I Just Blog That Way

by doodaddy on June 1, 2007

I’ve said all these things to myself.

  • I didn’t mean for it to happen. I couldn’t help myself.
  • When I started out, I thought it was just a casual fling.
  • I was very discreet… no one had to know.

You guessed it: I am engaged in extramarital blogging.

Why, what did you think I was talking about?

Until today, no one I know in three dimensions had ever read my blog. Then, at the playground, I actually met up with someone — “IRL,” as the kids say — who’s read me. (Not surprisingly, it was fellow San Franciscan Mike, whose own blog is not only much better but not anonymous.)

A couple of you know about this and have chastised me. So I’ve got one extramarital blog. Is that so bad?

Sigh. Maybe it is.

So I should tell her.

But I’m scared.

* * *

Boo was like rubber at the playground today. It was a “big-kid day”: almost every kid there was a head taller and a few miles-per-hour faster than my poor little 16-month old.

At the top of the slide stairs, two 3-year olds suddenly emerged from the tunnel and bowled her over. They weren’t being bad, they were just being three, but that didn’t help Boo, who tumbled down a couple of steps until her head came to rest on Buddy Boy’s feet.

He looked more worried than she did. Unperturbed, she got up and continued as if nothing had happened. Up the stairs, down the slide, repeat, no matter who’s trying to get in your way. All day was like that: nasty falls, snatched toys, no more goldfish — nothing could stop my little girl.

Where does she get that determination? Not from me, that’s for sure. I’m the underachiever — never got a degree, never wrote that novel, never really accomplished much more a few brief moments of inspiration for a handful of kids. I’m happy, but not particularly successful in the “worldly” sense.

And when I’m faced with a challenge — gee, like telling my wife about my blog — I slink away. I rationalize excuses that even in my own head sound just like that mute-trumpet voice adults have in Peanuts cartoons: “Whah whah whah my personal whah whah and she whah doesn’t whah whah time to read it anywhah whah whah.”

No, I can already read in Boobaby’s year-old personality that she doesn’t suffer from my wimpishness, and I know just where she gets her audacity: from my wife. My wife, who is single-handedly taking on our horrible co-owner, mean lawyers, and unhelpful loan officers to get our house sold. My wife, who deals with layer upon layer of politics and backstabbing at her job and comes out unscathed. My wife, who took her passion and made a successful career out of it.

So there it is. From the two strong women in my life, an example of boldness and tenacity for me to live by. And I’ll start by coming clean about the blog.

Soon.

After I maybe redact a little from some of those early posts.

Sigh, again. Will someone please tell me that I’m doing the right thing?

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tagged as , in Blog,Challenges,playground,Working Mom ·

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Dayngr June 1, 2007 at 6:18 pm

Well, I don’t know if you’re doing the right thing or not but your writing is good so what have you got to worry about?

Reply

Ann Marie June 3, 2007 at 5:19 pm

Ok.. I have been a little MIA because of the school thing.. Thank you by the way for the offer to help but apparently I am pretty good at grammar.. I ended up with an 100.

Ok.. here is my comment.. HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND..
if it were me.. I would keep this one extramarital.
but that is just me my friend. Do what you feel best.

Reply

doodaddy June 3, 2007 at 9:23 pm

@Dayngr~ Thanks! I have a feeling that “quality of writing” won’t be an excuse when the time comes, but I appreciate the vote of confidence!

@Ann Marie~ You think? Would you keep this kind of thing from the Waterman?

Dd.

Reply

Bryan June 4, 2007 at 9:53 am

Tell tell tell tell tell. All hidden things will become unhidden at some point. You can either control that time or have it happen on its own, usually at the WRONG time. What’s the worst that could happen? Sure, she could pack you up in a box and keep your body there for 50 years or so, but even then, your concience would be clear. I am a huge supporter of blatantly open honesty, mostly because I am to stupid to remember what I would have lied about. It’s too much work and worry.

My wife has developed a huge online support group through her forums and blogs and to be honest I am glad because then she doesn’t always bug me with things that I don’t want to bother with. I suspect Working Mom may have a similar feeling.

What will be harder to explain:

Case 1: Honey, I have a blog about our growing daughter and I have been keeping great track of her development so we can read it when we are old and wrinkly.

Case 2: Honey, I have been keeping a blog about our daughter and have been hiding it from you for the past few years. I’m sorry that your coworker’s mother has been reading it for the past year and that is how you found out about it during a conference in Detroit. I know you must have felt very embarrassed. It’s been a lot of work to conceal it from you, and quite tiring, but I have developed many deceitful skills that make it very easy to hide almost anything. I have an entire set of friends and associates who support me in ways that you have never been able to. They have filled a need for me where you have been absent… hey wait…come back…what do you mean your mother was right? Can we talk about the webcam when you get back? But I’ve made almost $4 on google ads!!!

Please excuse the bad humor, but it is better to get in trouble for one thing than two. You will have to teach Boo about this soon enough, so think about walking the walk, pardner.

I’m here if you want to do it over a conference call!

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