My First Sanctimommy!
Posted on May 30th, 2007 in Blog, Challenges, oddparents, sanctimommies, stay-at-home dad, unsolicited advice
I bask in pride’s warm glow today: my little blog has grown enough to attract me a sanctimommy! I once took perverse pleasure in my first spam comment — they found me! — but that joy pales in comparison to the affirmation I’m feeling: I’ve got a troll!
Not surprisingly, the controversy at hand is Boo’s weaning — seems that just posting “WE’RE NOT BREAST FEEDING” will drive up the ol’ readership.
As you may recall, Working Mom & I made the very difficult, personal decision to wean Boobaby at around 15 months. We had lots of reasons…
- Nursing is down to a trickle, so Boo doesn’t sleep well without an additional bottle.
- Plus we had this raging yeast infection on our boobs. (OK, not “our boobs,” exactly, but I’m trying to co-parent here.)
- Plus we’re trying to get pregnant.
- Plus it’s none of your damn business why we decide what we decide.
Oops, did I say that last one?
Anyway, we had a couple of bad nights — Boo wanted mama, but if she got mama she would want boob, but if she got boob she would not get much food and she’d also make her infections worse. So it was daddy and bottle and lots of loving, and a few long nights.
Things are much better now.
So here I am, a week later, and the sanctimommy drops this comment at the old post:
“I don’t think I could ever force my child to take a bottle where a perfectly good breat [sic] is ready and available. How sad for your poor child.”
I tend to hope for the best in people — I know, it’s a failing — so I explained all of our reasons in an e-mail, and got back even more sanctimony (feel the love!); here’s a highlight:
“Huh, my kids don’t wake up crying at night only to get a plastic bottle shoved in their mouths.”
Sigh.
To think, once I was lonely because no one would give me unsolicited advice.
We educate ourselves as parents, we know our own bodies and capacities and we hold our own values — and taking all that into account, we make our decisions. God knows we second-guess ourselves enough. Do we really need to second guess each other?
I’ll try to remember that next time I’m getting snarky about a zoned-out parent on the playground. Who am I to judge?
Oh, right — I’m the jerk who’s weaning his baby even when she cries about it.
Yeah, I Twitter, don't laugh. 
May 30th, 2007 6:07 am
Don’t you feel a wee bit of envious that you aren’t a perfect parent, like these women? That you don’t know what’s best for every other parent in the world AND take the time out of your clearly very very busy day to tell them about it?
You can see why these women post anonymously. Why, to think of all the emails they’d be getting from desperate new parents seeking out their advice on all matters of childrearing! It would be quite the burden to be sure. In fact I’m fairly convinced that your “trolls” are actually well-known authors of parenting books. You can tell from the cadence of their prose.
I weaned at 6 months. Send those beyatches my way if they need someone to make them feel superior.
May 30th, 2007 7:23 am
What is wrong with people? You wean when it makes sense to wean. For whatever reason! And it seems to me that you’ve taken great care and love in weaning Boo.
May 30th, 2007 8:29 am
Indeed, what is wrong with these people? Good grief.
May 30th, 2007 9:46 am
I’m so proud of you, doodaddy — today, you are a blogger. L’chaim!
But seriously, what WERE you thinking anyway? I don’t know why you didn’t consult the anonymous crackpots BEFORE you starting making your own decisions. Oh well, lesson learned …
May 30th, 2007 5:08 pm
I feel so unloved. The only troll comments I have gotten are from trolls I know. You’ve hit the big time, it seems!
Maybe I should discuss how both of my boys are circumcised. That should bring the zealot patrol out in force, I would think.
Shall we test that theory?
May 31st, 2007 8:44 am
Our Little Bit is 16 mo and we’ve discussed weaning her. Wife isn’t sure she is ready,though. Maybe the anonymous commenter can give us some advice and enlighten us to the world of perfect parenting!
Not really. Keep your sanctimommy comments to yourself.
Great post, Doodaddy!
May 31st, 2007 10:38 am
Hey, congrats on your first troll!
I can only aspire to someday be infested by a troll disguised as a concerned citizen.
Anywho, you hit the nail on the head when you said, “Plus it’s none of your damn business why we decide what we decide.”
Amen to that.
June 1st, 2007 7:53 am
Oh my goodness, I stand corrected - she’s not anonymous at all.
All I can say is that people who define themselves as “breastfeeding mamas” first and foremost have something to prove to the world. As if anyone cares what her kids eat.
June 1st, 2007 2:00 pm
I’m so jealous. I WANT A TROLL!
(Hey, wait a minute…my baby is formula-fed, my 3 yr old is circ’ed, and my second was an elective C-section. A few carefully placed words and I’ll be a troll magnet like you…)
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