Fern came out of the bathroom this morning, tugging up her leggings. As usual, I hadn’t heard a flush, but I had more pressing concerns:
“Did you wipe?” When Fern’s in a hurry, she forgets the niceties.
“Yes!” she said.
“So if I look in the toilet, I’ll see some toilet paper?” Sometimes that forgetting-to-flush thing comes in handy.
“Yes!” she said.
We went back into the bathroom, and sure enough, no toilet paper in the bowl.
Until, that is, Fern pulled a few sheets off the roll and tossed them into the yellowy water.
“There, I wiped!” she said, beaming with pride at her clever deception.
“You know I’m standing right here, right?” I asked.
“Yes!” she said, now even more proudly than before.
I wonder how low I’d sink on the parenting-skills list if I explained to her how lying is supposed to work…
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